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I feel that death is better then living and having to face all this nonsense.. Monday, February 11, 2008
Hmmm, was a little emo-ish today..Had my regular dose of headache and also my regular daily dose of quarrels with my mum.
Once again, she won whatever the issue was about behind the quarrels.
Imagine..she was practically quarreling with me because of clothes.
Not the wearing of clothes, but the washing of clothes.
Hais..
No idea how it started.
Merely the poor sot0ng was busy trying to remember the advantages and disadvantages of suppositiories and then she suddenly was lik screaming her head off.
And demanding that I stop whatever I'm doing to go and help her wash the darn clothes.
Heck, no idea why the hell I have to do that and then suddenly she was like cursing and swearing
Saying things like why the hell do I have to wear white clothes and why didn't i take care of my clothes when I'm wearing them.
Pissed off sia.
The problem is that she is not even washing my clothes by hand.
She is freaking washing my brother's white clothes.
And she nags at me, not him.
Biasness FTW..'wow'
hais..
Sets me off thinking.
Why the hell am I still in this house when apparently no one wants to have anything to do with me?
I mean, take a look at my mother.
She once said that I'm in the house so I got to help out.
I can't just stay at home and do nothing.
Because I'm a girl so I should help out in the house.
Because I'm the older sibling so I should help out in the house.
Because I do nothing at home except hibernating in my room so I should help out.
This is retarded.
I'm really getting sick and tired of it all.
First she screams and snarls at me.
Next she is all nice when asking me to test the taste of the green bean soup she is cooking.
Third, she starts to nag at me about the clothes again.
Following that, she makes lunch for me and smiles at me.
she is giving mixed signals and I have absloutely no idea on how to return her expression.
I really have no idea what I'm going to do next.
Never mind me.
I think I'm going a little crazy anyway.
Have no idea why I'm eating lesser and lesser each day.
And if you are thinking that I'm having depression,
Think again.
I'm so not having depression.
I'm still alive and kicking.
I'm not even emo-ing much.
Okay, even though I'm still upset and all.
I'm still having a headache.
Hais.
Don't have to worry so much about me.
I wont let myself get sick.
I will just let myself fall sick during my surgery.
Then, in this manner one whole shot sick and stay in bed and emo.
Hais.
I also don't really know what I want now.
Whether I need a hug, or more encouragement for my studies.
Whether I need more scoldings and cussing.
Whether I need some panadols and some time to emo.
Hais..
Life is like shit.
Especially my life.
Feeling the need to de-stress desperately; 2:36 AM;Y